I Wonder..

Since the premiere of the hit ABC show Scandal last year there has been a spotlight placed on infidelity, mistresses and side chicks. This is no new epidemic, men have been unfaithful for years but there was no public spectacle to made about it. Mistresses are nothing new, Elizabeth Taylor was Richard Burton’s mistress for years before becoming his on again off again wife and ex-wife. Women who choose to engage in intimate relationships with men are either married or in a relationship are highly scrutinized by society, but one thing you don’t and won’t hear about are men that play the sideline. What a shocker it must be for a man to realize that he is a side line nigga. It has been my experience that men don’t think that it can happen to them, that women aren’t smart enough to play their game and make them number two. Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there is a such thing as a nigga on the side. 


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The Coalition -Movie Review

For those who know me, it is a known fact that am a pure movie head. I love movies of all genres, from black and white, to comedies to cult classics. Recently I have been on a quest to find movies that I have not seen, so with the help of NetFlix I have come across some very interesting movies. Last night I came across a movie called “The Coalition” starring Adrienne Bailon (yes the Cheetah Girl) and an entire list of maybe C-List actors aside from Jackee’ Harry who has a minor role. The movie is co-written by Baltimore Ravens’ linebacker Terrell Suggs and the directorial debut of Monica Mingo. It was the synopsis of the movie that sparked my interest, as I am never interested in seeing Adrienne Bailon act in anything, but I must say I was surprised.

“Dating a professional athlete opens up an A-list whirlwind of VIP nightclubs, charity galas, upscale spas, and lavish gifts – but it can also lead to a world of deception, cheating and heartache. A group of women form an unlikely alliance to get revenge on a superstar baller and his friends for playing them. For these playboys used to getting whatever they want whenever they want it – all that’s about to change. But in this game of who’s playing who, some discover that revenge has a price all its own.”

The movie gives a very detailed look inside the personal relationships of pro-athletes (supposedly the film is loosely based on real life events, considering it was written by a pro-baller I can believe it). Prime Alexander who is played by the ever so handsome former NFL player turned actor Eddie Goines Eddie-Goines-The-Coalition who calls himself the “100 Million Dollar Man” is living the high life and taking his boys along with him for the ride. Like any good hood story where there are fine pro-athletes with money there are women. Prime has a couple to choose from, you will watch as he makes the ever so coy Skylar Hathaway (played by Denyce Lawton) fall for him, while he has Autumn Singletary (Ingrid Clay) losing her mind and her cool trying to get him back. (I told the film’s cast was full of unheard of actors). The storyline quickly turns into the tale of women scorned seeking revenge. It came as no real surprise when Prime was exposed for the player he truly was, in hiding a fiance and children from the unknowing Skylar (who quickly finds out that she is merely a side chick) Does this sound familiar? The group of scorned women led by a disgruntled and bitter Autumn decide to ruin Prime and his group of friends by pulling a “First Wives Club” type scheme. Watching this movie I realized that while wildly exaggerated these are the kind of things that go through the minds of women who feel they have been wronged or betrayed by a man. Why these side chicks (and yes they were side chicks) felt they were entitled to anything beyond a fly by night sexcapade was beyond me, now granted he lied and got them to fall in love under false pretenses but once you find out the truth why not just walk away? Obviously they missed out on the Side Chick Chronicles and have some catching up to do. In case you missed it…http://brendolynmarie.com/2013/03/04/the-side-chick-chronicles-part-one/ . All in all its the story of players getting played, and we have seen this time and time again in movies such as “Boomerang” and “How to be a Player” , it’s no real secret that a dog who chases his tail will get dizzy. coalition

I would advise women not to get any ideas from these women, this is still a movie and pulling stunts like these in real life can get you hurt. I recommend this movie for a random movie night flick but that’s about all I can do.

 

B

The Side Chick Chronicles~Part Two

*Personally I feel that being a side chick, mistress and or other woman is counterproductive to your growth as a woman. What is that you gain from being someone’s dirty little secret? Money? A sense of security? A wet behind? It is sad that so many people (women especially) are settling for such a lifestyle. But here it is Part Two of the Side Chick Chronicles, the remaining five Commandments.*

6) Thou Shall Not Have Unprotected Sex; this is self-explanatory but there are plenty of women out here raw dogging a man who is sleeping with someone else with a condom. (And let’s be realistic if he is cheating on his better half with you what makes you think he is faithful to you? Don’t worry I’ll wait) With so many communicable diseases floating around you should want to protect yourself from catching something you can’t get rid of. (there are less extreme cases than HIV/AIDS like Herpes Simplex, syphilis, and Genital Warts) Not only that, but you also run the risk of an unplanned (or planned) pregnancy. No man is going to allow his side piece to carry and give birth to his seed, so by getting knocked up you are asking for problems and a trip to the clinic.

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Truth Be Told

*Before accepting my current position with a Fortune 500 company I worked for a local family black owned non-profit organization, while there were a few vanilla sprinkles here and there, the company was mostly African-American. My Senior VP was the definition of a strong black man and I had a tremendous amount of respect for him.(May he rest in peace) Every now and then he would come with euphemisms that would leave you thinking hours later about meaning of what he said and what it meant. “If not you then who, if not now when?” was always one of my favorite “one hitta quittas” as I call them. These past couple of weeks I have posted some articles that have ruffled some feathers and peaked some interests. Yesterday after my blog begin to circulate I was told by several different people that what I was saying was too real and that people weren’t ready to hear to the truth. I particularly am not one who is in the business of babysitting or patrolling the feelings of adults, so I am going to tell the truth and I don’t really care who can’t handle it or who is offended. * ~B~

Yesterday I asked the question to no one person in particular: ” If you can’t call him in an emergency why is it he can call you at any time (day or night) for sex?” (I am not bias nor am I anti-gay so my questions and posts can be interrupted to fit one’s lifestyle be it hetero or homosexual I don’t discriminate) There were a few “Amens” here and there but that isn’t what I was searching for. I wanted a real response and that’s exactly what I got.

“If the relationship is just sexual and a woman knows that, then that’s on her. Giving your body to a man doesn’t mean he has one up on you or is in control. Long as you’re having sex because you want to, women have needs to. A woman can be in control it’s just when those emotions get involved does drama begin.  You have to know where you are in life, if you want a man you can get your issue off with, then do so and don’t try to change the dynamic of the relationship. If it’s always been about sex, don’t get mad if he can’t save you when you call. If that’s what you’re looking for (someone to save you) then you need to be looking for a husband not a cut buddy.”

You CAN'T Handle The Truth!

You CAN’T Handle The Truth!

I found myself agreeing with her response to a certain degree. However it is no secret that women are emotional in nature and only a cruel and heartless woman (which there aren’t many) can truly handle a sex only relationship. Just as there is only a rare breed of women who can deal with being a side chick, no matter how hard a woman tries she can never really turn her feelings off and eventually emotions come into the picture and complicate things. Women never see themselves as booty calls, which is the reason why a woman would call a man whom she only sees after hours in the event of an emergency. If you don’t feel you can depend on him in a time of need why is worthy of your most precious jewel? Your body? The ugly truth of the matter is, women will settle for having a piece of man instead of having no man at all. (This is the very reason we accept a sideline position or anything less than a girlfriend or wife. Or why we still stay with a man who is unfaithful) Women quickly and easily confuse good sex and deep pockets with love. An orgasm and a new knock-off doesn’t equal love. It means you are a selling yourself short for a penis and a purse, to a man who more than likely has a wife, girlfriend or live in baby mama at home. Men are quick to put on like they are looking for a wife when what they really want is the Mrs. Ceily type. They want a woman who is going to cook, clean and take care of their bad ass children while he is out getting his boots rocked by his Suge Avery. A man will only treat you the way you let him, and if you let him climb on top of you and “do his business” then my dear he will continue to shit on you.

bc

I say all of that to say, whether you are the wife, girlfriend, baby mama, side bitch or booty call you need to know your worth. Women quickly and unknowingly devalue themselves the moment a man starts saying the right things. Morals and proper upbringing goes out the window and legs spread faster than margarine on toast. We allow men to disrespect and mistreat us as if that’s the way GOD intended it. Men have women arguing and fighting over them as if they have another chick waiting in the wings to fill the spot. The moment women realize that calling each other bitches and hoes when you find out ya’ll are sharing penis is ineffective will be the moment all becomes right within the world. She is not a hoe because she is sleeping with your man she is your teammate, embrace each other. Stop giving yourselves to someone who is not worthy of entering your temple. Each time you lay down with someone, be it for one night, months or years you are creating a soul tie. So before you open your legs stop and ask yourself, “Do I want to be bound to this person?”

“If not now? When? If not you? Who?”

Take care of yourselves ~B~