Commitment Phobe?

“I’m not into committing myself to things I can’t walk away from. Like marriage and children.” ~E. Rob

I don’t think I have ever heard a more direct and honest statement than the one quoted above come from a woman when speaking in terms of relationships and marriage. Funny thing about it is, I was able to relate 100% to her. I have written in-depth about the want for “happily ever after” in my life, the desire to one day become a bride. (Notice I said Bride not Wife) there is something to be said about that which I will explore at a later time. As a young woman who is vastly approaching her thirties it may seem strange for me to openly and honestly admit that I may not want the storybook happily ever after, after all.
Continue reading

The Carrie Bradshaw Philosophy

I will never be the woman with perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it, chair committees and write thank you notes. And I can’t feel bad about it.” ~Carrie Bradshaw

Lately I have been spending most weekends partaking in re-runs of Sex and the City, this is one show that I can never get tired of watching, no matter how many times I have seen a particular episode. As I have sat and watched each episode over and over I find that almost all of what Carrie says and believes when it comes to love and relationships can be applied to real life. From her off and on again relationship to Mr. Big to her friendships with Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte. Her philosophies and theories on love often times make a little too much sense to me. As I sat and watched one of my favorite episodes from Season 3 of the series “Attack of the Five-Foot Ten Woman” I realized that like Carrie there are a lot of women who envy other women for reasons that make no sense. In this episode Carrie was green with envy at even the slightest mention of Big’s wife Natasha, she went out of her way and budget to keep up with her in an attempt to prove to no one other than herself that she was just as good if not better than her ex’s new wife.

As women we often find ourselves feeling inferior to the next, for many different reasons, be it she is prettier, has longer hair or a better job we find many qualities in other women that cause us to be insecure. Most women who read this are going to shake their heads in disagreement, but deep down know that I am speaking the truth. Women are prideful by nature and aren’t going to admit to being jealous of someone else. The truth and the reality is, there is always going to be someone who is prettier, smarter, has nicer things and different talents than you, that’s the way we were created. If everyone was equally the same, the world would be full of Stepfords. If you spend time basing your life and dreams off that of others you aren’t truly living YOUR life, because you are too busy trying to live theirs. As I learned from watching this episode over and over we all have flaws, and as perfect as things may look from the outside, the grass is not always greener on the other side. The most beautiful woman in the world, may be mean and selfish, the richest women may be unhappy, the women with all the designer bags may be in debt and the list goes on.

“Since human nature is very much led by our reptilian brains, providing constant ‘lack or attack’ alerts, we often find ourselves coming up short when we play the comparison game. There will always be younger, taller, thinner, fitter, richer, smarter, more successful people than us. And similarly there will always be others lower down the evolutionary or ‘success’ ladder… looking up at us.”~

To simply sum it all up, comparisons are odious so why waste your time with them? The grass may be greener on the other side but there is also a higher landscaping bill.