“After a while, you just want to be with the one who makes you laugh.” ~Mr. Big, Sex and the City
A large part of me wanted to call her, talk to her, hear her side of the story. Find out what kinds of bullshit he’d been feeding her, then there was a small part that couldn’t bring myself to admit that what was happening was real. The desperation and hurt in her voice was familiar and I felt for her. I replayed her messages over and over until I couldn’t stomach anymore of the self-inflicted torture.
I guess he thought I’d never find out, about all the women, the lies, the infidelity, the betrayal. But like most men he got comfortable, got sloppy and undoubtedly got his ass busted.
From the beginning the relationship was a game of cat and mouse, I played hard to get mainly because he just wasn’t my type, but after months of a never-ending chase I gave in and decided there was something I liked about him. It wasn’t that he was overally fine or that he was swagged out like Victor Newman from Young and the Restless (as a matter of fact he was none of those things) that finally made me give in, it was the fact that he never asked anything of me and accepted me flaws and all. In knowing that, I relaxed my standards and allowed myself to feel. I just knew that this would be the one. After a short time I settled into my relationship and made one big mistake, I became complacent, I got too relaxed and let my guards down. One of the biggest mistakes a woman can make in any relationship is believing that she is exempt from being betrayed by her man.
The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe. — H. L. Mencken
I’ve heard the best love is forbidden love, a love that you know is no good for you, a love that makes you feel so high one moment and lower than low the next. There is nothing more intoxicating than a forbidden love, a love you can’t tell even your closest friends about, a love that you hate to admit to yourself exists. Yeah, there is nothing at all like a forbidden love. So many times we hear the stories of men who are unfaithful, the stories of men having a mistress or a side chick. The stories of women finding out their man has taken a bite of the forbidden fruit that is infidelity. What about women? Are women not capable of being unfaithful? The truth of it is, women are capable and very guilty of being unfaithful, the difference between men and women is that we have less of a tendency to be sloppy and get caught. If you don’t mind I’d like to take you into the mind of a cheater.
“Monogamy or whatever you call it, I’m starting to think it ain’t for everybody.Most of us rushing into it anyways.” ~Wale “Bad”
There are very few people who enter into a relationship with the intent to cheat. The point of committing is to be monogamous, however for some monogamy has become ancient history or urban legend. The tradition of true commitment is antiquated and a thing of times gone past for some. I ask the question, what is the point of making a committment to a relationship if you are going to cheat? If that person doesn’t have all the qualities it takes to please you then why get involved? Valid questions with no simple answers. In the beginning a person could have everything you believe you want and need in a mate, but as days becomes weeks and weeks turn to months things begin to change and you question your choice. The man who once looked so good to you, isn’t all that anymore, you start to notice the small things you didn’t notice before during courtship. He no longer opens doors, he holds you differently, the way he brushes his teeth or leaves his shoes and basketball shorts in the middle of the floor start to slowly irk you. Once one thing begins to bother you everything they do becomes a problem. You begin to question the choice you made to sign an unwritten contract with this person, but you have committed so you stay. It doesn’t take long before you dread going home and being within five feet of the man you once couldn’t stand to be apart from. Once you have reached the point of aggravation it won’t be long before you are easily tempted.
Since the premiere of the hit ABC show Scandal last year there has been a spotlight placed on infidelity, mistresses and side chicks. This is no new epidemic, men have been unfaithful for years but there was no public spectacle to made about it. Mistresses are nothing new, Elizabeth Taylor was Richard Burton’s mistress for years before becoming his on again off again wife and ex-wife. Women who choose to engage in intimate relationships with men are either married or in a relationship are highly scrutinized by society, but one thing you don’t and won’t hear about are men that play the sideline. What a shocker it must be for a man to realize that he is a side line nigga. It has been my experience that men don’t think that it can happen to them, that women aren’t smart enough to play their game and make them number two. Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there is a such thing as a nigga on the side.
Urban Dictionary defines the term Fun Boy as such; “A male with latent homosexual tendencies who enjoys the company of other males” . The term fun boy is used when referencing men who exhibit all the behaviors of that of a homosexual male. In most cases these men deny having homosexual tendencies and often times go to extreme measures to prove they aren’t “fun boys”. With the recent allegations of football player Kerry Rhodes by former assistant/lover Russell “Hollywood” Simpson it seems that many “side boos” (Side Boo= the male version of a side chick) are no longer willing to keep their lovers dirty little secret. Brothers being on the “down low” is nothing shocking, this epidemic of underworld boy on boy action while having a wife, girlfriend or children at home has been going on for years. It seems that Hollywood being willing to come forward with his truth has opened Pandora’s Box, allow me to take you into the world of a fun boy.