Married or Single? Pick a Box

When you fill out a job application or a credit application and you get to the “Marital Status” question you are offered on of five options; “Married”, “Single”, “Seperated”, “Divorced” or “Widowed”. (never married is sometimes an added irrelevant option it’s the same as single). Nowhere on that application is there a box for “in a long-term relationship” or “living with my boyfriend”. Only on Facebook can you claim “In a relationship” or “It’s complicated”. marital-status-optionsTo put it plainly, society does not acknowledge a relationship that has not been consummated by marriage. Many, myself included believe that a piece of paper should not be needed to validate your love for someone, unfortunately unless you have that piece of paper you are single. You generally can not go to your job’s human resource office and say “I want to cover my girlfriend on my insurance” (unless this a domestic partner which is ass backwards if you ask me. The fact that a same-sex domestic partnership will be acknowledged before a “relationship” is baffling) I know this is a shocking thing for some but unfortunately it’s the truth and the truth hurts. It used to be that  you could live with someone for seven years and common law in Missouri acknowledged this as a marriage, that law was abolished in 1921. People will argue that a relationship is just as worthy to be acknowledged as a marriage, while I will agree I will also disagree. The sanctity of a relationship is up to you and your girlfriend/boyfriend not others, marriage is respected by all because it is something that was adorned under the eye of GOD. This is no way a religious post, however, as quoted in the good book; “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31). “To be united with wife not his babymama or his girlfriend”, although, the Bible does not specifically state it is wrong for an adult man and adult woman who are unrelated to live together, it condemns sexual intimacy before marriage and it reveals that God has only one plan for a man and woman living together – marriage.Wedding Ring
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A journey to Happily Ever After ~A Wedding Story~

What is it about getting married that intrigues little girls so much? Is it the fact that most of us grew up watching and believing in fairy-tales like the one Cinderella lived? Or is that just the idea of being in love and loved unconditionally and spending your life with someone who wants nothing more than to be with you that makes being married so desirable? For me it is a combination of both, among other things. As I near my thirties I hear the loud ticking of my “biological clock” in accordance with wanting to get married. (I already have the kid so that biological clock ticked out seven years ago) In the midst of battling with the internal nagging of self, I have expressed my desires to those close to me who all have this idea of me that it is merely the party that I desire most. (To a certain extent I slightly agree, but what do they know?) It is true that a marriage is not all about the wedding but what woman doesn’t want a fairytale wedding complete with horse and carriage and glass slippers? (Pardon my small obsessions with all things fairytale, up until I was 25 I believed in fairies, pixie dust and singing mice.) The movie “27 Dresses” with Katherine Heigl is one of my favorite movies along with “Bridemaids” however even though most of my friends are married I have only been in one wedding  my entire life and that’s when I was four. I have been blessed to attend quite a few beautiful weddings however and have been taking mental notes.

Before there can be a wedding there has to be a healthy courtship, that’s where most women tend to lose their footing. Even in 2012 there are a lot of women who are in a rush to get to the altar and end up running even faster to the court for a divorce. I plan on getting married and staying married, at all costs. You make a life long committment under the sight of GOD and vow for better or for worse than you should be willing to hold true to that and make it work. Too many people getting married to the right person for all the wrong reasons, I’m not here for that and as I always say I refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies. Just as I have seen relationships turn into great marriages I have also seen marriages turn into messy divorces. I have also seen couples who have become so complacent with the dysfunction that act as if nothing is wrong.  While fighting off the annoying inner nagging of my rapidly aging self I am not going to jump into marriage with my eyes shut. I do believe that there is one person who was created by GOD just for me to share time nd space, it is that person and that person only that I will change my last name for. (Pause.. YES I said I am willing to change my wonderful ever so fitting last name for the man that I will call husband! What a shocker!) As most people read this series of posts the question will come “Are you even in a relationship?” Over time the answer to that question will reveal itself . This post is the first in a series, from start to finish I will document my journey and the countdown to my  “happily ever after”. Some will be shocked as I go from single girl to married lady. From proposals to engagement parties, to dress shopping and cake tasting and much more my journey will be documented every step of the way.

You don’t marry someone you can live with, you marry the one you can’t live without.

~Carrie Bradshaw