Tellin’ it Like it is Tuesday

*Deep Sigh* I have to take a deep breath before beginning this blog post, mainly because of the nature of the topic. It’s no secret that I am a survivor of seven years of domestic violence. This is not something that I am proud of however it is not something that I am ashamed of either it is a part of my life that I can not erase nor forget. I have spoken out on many occasions against domestic abuse including traveling to Hollywood, California to appear on a segment of Dr. Phil speaking against domestic violence and helping a young woman break free. I am no angel nor am I the best person one will ever meet but like any other women I never deserved to be abused. But this post is not about my situation, so I won’t go into any further details about what I endured years back. I am a survivor if nothing else.

Not long ago most of us tuned in to watch the train wreck that is Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. We watched week after week unable to look away from what we all knew was pure foolery and indeed setting us as blacks back into slavery. One of the show’s “stars” was singer K. Michelle, K. was able to gain our attention with her voice however she pulled at our heartstrings with her story of abuse at the hands of a “music producer” who was supposed to help her career once she had signed to Jive Records. Long story short, K. talks about how he blew through her money and then one day proceeded to beat her ass to no end. K. due to a gag order couldn’t say the producer’s name in conjunction with the show, however it wasn’t log before the internet started buzzing and we found out that she was talking about Memphitz. As the show continues cameras and time expose K. Michelle for the person she really is. She admits to being crazy and having issues, but she is also verbally and physically abusive to other women. (As we saw during her altercation with Karlie Red) 

“WOOOO this bitch is shaking the table!”

In a later episode of the show K. speaks to young girls about domestic violence, you can’t help but to tear up as she speaks about her struggles while all dressed up in a wedding gown with theatrical make-up on her face to simulate abuse. Following the monologue she is confronted that she may not be telling the truth about her abuse, that that’s maybe something that wasn’t done to her. (Of course in true K. Michelle fashion she goes off). There has yet to be proof of the is alleged abuse, no police reports, no arrests, no picture, no NOTHING. However we have seen plenty of footage of K. verbally bashing others, admitting to being crazy and throwing silverware. So the validity in her story is hard to believe, yet K. Michelle is standing up to speak against domestic violence, she is now a spokeswoman for this epidemic? See her PSA here: http://bossip.com/626560/new-k-michelle-stop-the-violence69691/

Then we have Evelyn Lozada,  the “bad girl” of Basketball Wives, we have watched her bully the meekest of women week after week. From Tammi (well Tammi held her own) to Jennifer to Kenya, Ev has shown her ass by jumping over tables, hitting people with clutches to throwing wine bottles. I don’t have to recap the Chad and Ocho drama but Ev is now “standing against” domestic violence. Unfortunately it is hard to believe that Lozada was not the aggressor in the situation when she has repeatedly been violent towards others. (Others being women) Kind of like the boy who cried wolf, and we all know how that story ends.

No woman should ever be hit by a man, that goes without saying and there is never any excuse for domestic violence. However, when two women are in a relationship and one beats on the other it is considered DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! When two women get into an altercation and one threatens the other it is a CRIME! When two women are fighting on the street and one HEADBUTTS the other it is ASSAULT! I say all that to say, these two women are not the face of domestic violence or anti-violence, they are the faces of VIOLENCE! Rhianna never once spoke out about becoming an advocate for domestic violence cause she knew her ass had put her hands on Chris Brown just as he put his hands on her. You can’t tell me about being a survivor or being abused and beaten when you are an abuser yourself, what makes putting your hands on another woman any different from a man putting his hands on you? Cause you’re a woman? Naw, ain’t nobody got time for that! Domestic Violence doesn’t look like K. Michelle or Evelyn Lozada, it looks like Sarah Vaughn(The Valedictorian from Vashon High School who was strangled and killed by her boyfriend) or Anna Mae Bullock!

Three Sides to Every Story (Mad Monday)

I have always been told there are three sides to every story, your side, my side and the truth. In any situation where there is more than one person involved there is going to be a different story from each party, each person’s account or recollection of what happened will be different, each containing both fact and fiction (or embellishment of the truth). You ever seen a movie or a show where there is a group of people telling the story of how something happened and there is a montage or flash back? Each person’s flash back is different from the others, this is true in real life only there are no flashbacks.

Most recently in the news and on the gossip and entertainment blogs we have learned of the public altercation between reality tv star Evelyn Lozada of VH1’s Basketball Whores I mean Wives and NFL’er Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson. It has been reported that Chad and Ev got in an argument over a receipt she found for condoms in the couple’s car. First of all PAUSE, we all saw the episode of Basketball Wives when Ev told Chad that he could cheat as long as he used protection. Obviously she was merely putting on for the cameras and the viewers cause she surely had a fit about the receipt. Without going into all the details because in reality I don’t care Evelyn made a big scene and Chad head butted her. (I don’t know what Grown ass STRAIGHT man would headbutt a female but he did, allegedly) Evelyn went to a neighbors where she called police and they along with paramedics tended to the “battered” woman and her 3-inch gas on her forehead.

Full details on the Evelyn and Chad Johnson saga including the official police report :  http://www.tmz.com/2012/08/12/chad-johnson-arrested-police-report/

I don’t condone the abuse of women by a man, I believe that grown people should keep their hands to themselves. Evelyn is no angel, as she has shown us on numerous occasions she has a sharp tongue and an ill-temper. Chad has told his side of the story insinuating that it was in fact Ev that head butted him. (Is this far-fetched? Not in the least. ) Keep in mind Ev is the same person that hit Jennifer Williams over the top of the head with clutch and tossed a bottle of wine at Kenya at a close range. This marriage and relationship between these two was a reach anyway, especially with them discussing having an open-relationship. My point of all of this is that, while Evelyn is getting all this publicity and making out to be the victim she may have very well provoked the situation. There is a woman right now getting her ass whooped because she accidentally unplugged the XBox in the middle of Call of Duty, but we aren’t making a big fuss out of that. Chad has been arrested and ultimately released from his contract with the Miami Dolphins and labeled an abuser. Do we believe that Evelyn will press charges and leave her husband of five weeks? Maybe, maybe not. Did Tina leave Ike the first time?