Black Girl, Still Interrupted

This past Thanksgiving holiday was different from those before, for the first time since I was nineteen years-old I decided to break my silence about my mental illness and showed my mother the scars that only I knew existed. My left thigh is covered in over fifteen fresh  scars that are slowly begin to heal after being infected for two weeks. The tears that silently fell from her eyes as she covered her mouth in horror let me know that she didn’t believe me when I told her nearly five years ago that I suffer from Boderline Personality Disorder and clinical depression. For the first time in a long time she was faced with the reality that her eldest daughter suffers from a mental illness.

I was eighteen years-old the first time I ingested a prescription drug cocktail in an effort to end my life. It took four nurses to hold me down so they could insert a tube in my nose and down my throat because I refused to drink the charcoal that would ultimately save my life. I didn’t realize it then but that wasn’t going to be the last time I tried to end my life nor did I realize I was battling an early onset of a mental disorder. It was only one year later that I slid a rusty razor across my skin  for the first time. I was nineteen years old and a new mother to a baby boy; my intent in that instance was never to kill myself but  rather to find a release from the pain and frustrations of my daily life. The high that came from the opening the skin and watching the blood drip was what I would assume that first hit or heroin feels like. And it was on that day that I became what is known as a cutter.

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On a Monday: Here’s How You Can Avoid Dating A Fuckboy, Based On Your Zodiac Sign — Thought Catalog

unsplash.comAries (March 21st to April 19th) You’re attracted to people who have a thirst for adventure, but this can often lead to you ending up with flighty, restless guys who ghost you the minute things get comfortable or routine-like. Stop letting yourself instantly fall for the mysterious, pioneering types and take your time getting to…

via Here’s How You Can Avoid Dating A Fuckboy, Based On Your Zodiac Sign — Thought Catalog

Liquid Frosting X Brendolyn Marie

I had the opportunity to sit down with ShowYouStl.com to talk about my vegan nail polish line Liquid Frosting Nail Color as well as to talk a little bit more about myself ; kind of tell my story. Here it is…

Shout out to Jasmine for these amazing photos and this awesome interview!! You rock girlfriend!

http://www.showyoustl.com/2016/10/brendolyn-royal-liquid-frosting-nail.html

 

Don’t Fear My Words, Fear My Silence — Thought Catalog

Thought.isDon’t worry when I yell at you or when I blame you. Don’t worry when I throw tantrums and send you long essays explaining why I’m mad. Don’t worry when I knock on your door in the middle of the night because I’m hurt. Don’t worry when I cry at night because of something you…

via Don’t Fear My Words, Fear My Silence — Thought Catalog

Let Them Walk….

I can never share this sermon by Bishop T.D Jakes enough. It is one that I have printed the transcript for and taped it to the mirror in my bathroom. There are often times when someone wants to leave our lives and our first instinct is to the ask or beg them to stay. Not realizing that sometimes you have to let people walk away from you, and that doing so is OKAY! This is my  blessing to someone who is holding on to people who truly want to leave.

B

 

“There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk
Away from you: let them walk.
I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,
Loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you,
Staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might
Be made manifest that they were not for us.
For had they been of us, no doubt they
Would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means
That their part in the story is over. And you’ve got
To know when people’s part in your story is over so that you
Don’t keep trying to raise the dead.
You’ve got to know when it’s dead.
You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something.
I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift,
I believe in good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful,
it’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God
Means for me to have He’ll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!” ~Bishop T.D. Jakes