[Black] Girl, Interrupted

“It’s like you’re screaming and no one can hear you.”-Angelina Jolie as Lisa Rowe “Girl, Interrupted”

One of my favorite movies is the 1999 film “Girl, Interrupted” by James Mangold starring Wynona Ryder and Angelina Jolie[who won an Oscar for her performance as Lisa Rowe]. MV5BMTUyNjUzMjk2MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNDQyMTAxMw@@._V1_SX640_SY720_This film takes you inside the 18-month stay of Susanna Kaysen in an 1960’s psychiatric hospital following a suicide attempt. Showing a raw and uncut look at the struggles of women from various walks of life with mental illness. Funny thing about this film is that it there are no African-American patients on the ward, one of the only black faces in the movie is that of Whoopi Goldberg who plays nurse Valerie Owens. It wasn’t until recently that I noticed the lack of black faces “on the ward” on this film, but then it occurred to me that this was not because the hospital [in the film] was segregated but because even then mental illness in the African-American community is and still is considered taboo. Why? In 2016, when there are so many treatment options is the stigma of mental illness in African-American women still a “thing?” Continue reading

Old Friend

phyllis-hyman-fact_imgBefore Adele was Rolling in the Deep or knew how to Set Fire to the Rain, even before Whitney wanted to Dance With Somebody and Mariah had a Vision of Love there was Phyllis. Phyllis Linda Hyman undoubtedly one of the great singers of a time gone past. A tall (she stood 6’2) and beautiful woman, she had a voice so unique. Growing up I was no stranger to the sultry singing of Miss Hyman, her voice deep and soothing was amazing. The words she sang seemed to be coming from a place so deep within that it made each song that much more intense, spine tingling and bone chilling none the less.
Continue reading

Random Thoughts

I was watching “For Colored Girls” last night and while all of the poems speak volumes this one made the most noise within me. Most people find this movie to have been disturbing and depressing I did not. I have read the book of poems and while the onscreen adaptation is widely different the message is the same. So I just wanted to share Thandie Newton’s in her roles as Tangie monologue with my readers.

“I know, I’m sorry, you need to know something. You can’t love somebody who has that much hurt in them. I’m learning that more and more. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve lost touch with reality. I don’t know who’s doing it. I thought I was but I was so stupid. I was able to be hurt and that’s not real. Not anymore. We should be immune. If we’re still alive. How are we still live? My dependency on other living beings for love. I survive on intimacy? And tomorrow, that’s all I’ve got going. And it is all I have, being alive and being a woman. Being colored is a metaphysical dilemma I haven’t conquered yet. Do you see the point? Our spirits are too close to understand separation.”

You can’t love somebody with that much hurt in them.” Such a powerful statement but what is even more powerful is that it is relatable. For a person to admit they are incapable of being loved is deep. To be able to identify that there is something deeper than what the eye can see, to be able to admit that there is something hidden inside you that has caused so much damage that love is out of the question. We are all capable of love and being loved, even the person with a heart that is two sizes too small love is possible. The promiscuous woman, the jaded woman, the heartless woman wants to be loved unconditionally. The question still remains, “How do you love someone with so much hurt in them?”

 “My dependency on other living beings for love. I survive on intimacy” What does this mean? There are so many woman who are like this character and can relate to this monologue but aren’t able to admit it. A woman who is so deeply damaged and hurt confuses sex with love. Quite possibly she was raped or molested at a young age so her perception of love is clouded with confusion because someone who said they loved her sexed her in the wrong way. The notion that sex is your best asset is a disturbing thought. As a woman we have so much more to offer than just our body, but for the damaged woman who was introduced to sex long before she was ready this is it. Sex is not love, yet so many confuse the two. Existing is not living, there is a difference. What are you doing?

Take care of yourselves

~B~

"Suicide Love Song"

Fans of American Idol winner Fantasia were stunned at her suicide attempt last Monday. Per the phone call made by her manager Brian Dickens Tasia was found in a closet in her North Carolina home.
“She is slowly losing consciousness,” he tells the operator. “Her family put her in the shower to try to keep her awake.”Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/08/12/2010-08-12_fantasia_out_of_hosp__lifted_up_by_fans.html#ixzz0wgbMOX4p

The attempt followed the scandal surrounding Tasia and a married man (Who’s name she has tattooed on her shoulder by the way). Antwuan Cook who is an employee of T-Mobile (Red Flag) told Fanny that he was separated from his wife(Red Flag! Show me some papers!) and began a relationship with her which supposedly includes the making of a sex tape which the wife allegedly got her grimey little hands on. Paula Cook is suing Tasia saying that she knew that he was married and this was an intentional act on her behalf. This is the age old tale of a man manipulating two women for his own self reasons. He saw an opportunity with the young singer who has publicly admitted that she has a weakness for men due to growing up not being the swan but the ugly duckling. Anyone who has followed her career and seen her movie or read her book knows that she has a troubled past when it comes to her love life including the relationship with her daughter Zion’s father. This is something that a lot of women can relate to which gives Fantasia that extra dose of realness. The desire to be loved and wanted is so deep that it is almost crippling and a handicap because it’s easy to fall victim to the charm and pillow talk. Its even easier to believe their lies especially when you’re in love. However, NO MAN and I do mean NO MAN is worth taking your life over. Fantasia is a single mother of a young girl and if she isn’t careful her daughter will go through the same cycle as her mother. Leaving your child alone without a mother when she already has no father is the most selfish thing you can do. So what you got a sex tape (Who doesn’t? Use it to your advantage Tasia! Look at Ray J, Kim Kardashian!) so what you got played (what woman hasn’t?). Use this as a stepping stone to make you stronger! A man does not and CAN NOT validate who you are. I don’t judge Tasia cause love will break you down but you’re better than that!