The Color of Love

paula and robin

“I really do think that all of us are beautiful when we’re happy and in love.” ~Paula Patton

One of my favorite Hollywood couples is the beautiful actress Paula Patton and the ever so handsome song bird Robin Thicke. Without pointing out the obvious, she is African-American and he is Caucasian, none the less they are a beautiful couple. On the flip side you have another one of my favorite couples, actor Nick Cannon and songstress Mariah Carey. Again, without pointing out the obvious Nick is African-American and although she looks the part and classifies herself to be of the Caucasian persuasion Mariah is bi-racial. (Her mother is Irish and her father Afro-Venezuelan aka African-American) Because of this fact some will argue that this is not considered an interracial marriage, however since she identifies herself as white it is. Like these famous couples, everyday people encounter criticism for choosing to marry outside their race. The fact that people are still so closed-minded when it comes to color in 2013 baffles me, have we not grown to realize that love bears no color?
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Who Am I?

black-power-pin-8952628Do not be mislead by the title of this post, the question of “Who Am I”  is not one that will be answered within these lines. I recently found myself in the midst of a heated debate regarding race, religion and politics; three things I never get into discussions about. However, whenever I do find myself in situations where I am backed into a corner and must speak on religion, the surprise people exhibit on how well versed I am in the “Word” is priceless. (For many years my GODMother has claimed an anointing over me, indicating that my place is in the church) Throughout the course of the aforementioned conversation between myself and a friend who is currently in the process of “self-identification” and “discovery” I found myself wanting to pull my hair out strand by strand in several instances. This debate by far was one of the most draining I have ever been privy to. Please allow me to elaborate.
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The Color Complex

Miscegenation: The mixing of different racial groups through marriage, cohabitation, procreation and sexual relations. via

Being of fair complexion I am always asked the question, “Which one of your parents is white?” My answer. “NEITHER!” and for some reason it is always said with much attitude. Just because an African-American is light skinned does not mean they are a product of an inter-racial relationship or sexual encounter. However I am of mixed ethnic background, just not of the norm, I am African-American, Native American and Mexican. Because of my fair skin, long hair and hazel eyes I suffered from what I call a color complex growing up. I didn’t exactly fit in with the black kids because I wasn’t dark enough, and I didn’t want to fit in with the white because hell, I wasn’t white. I was often teased and taunted by the by the girls with dark skin and thicker hair, “You think you cute because you got long hair and pretty eyes?” Which I didn’t, it wasn’t a big deal that I was light skinned, I was a person just like them. Right? Wrong! I went through my years growing up with this being an issue, it wasn’t until I got older and saw the movie “School Daze” by Spike Lee that I honestly understood just how deep the color complex truly was and still is.

Based at a fictitious historically black college this movie explores the issues that races encounter. The Wannabes and the Jiggaboos, wannabes being the light skinned women with long hair (weave or natural) and light eyes and the jiggaboos being the dark women with the naturally nappy hair. They called each other everything from nappyhead, tar baby, wanna be white to barbiedoll. Growing up I was called high yellow, house nigga, porch monkey, octoroon and anything else disrespectful the dark skinned girls could think of that could possibly hurt my feelings. I had to learn to be comfortable in my own skin in order to get over my color complex. I am who and I am, GOD made me this way for a reason and there was nothing anyone could say, light dark, pink or purple that would change that. Still to this day at the age of 25 almost 26 I still get called a house nigga or high yellow, but it doesn’t bother me because at the end of the day MY black no matter what percentage is BEAUTIFUL!!!