Words On a Wednesday

Have you ever had an “ah-ha” moment? A moment of pure clarity where all things seem so free and clear? Over the past few months I have experienced many a “ah-ha” moment. I could be brushing my teeth or in the middle of a meeting at work and boom the not so obvious becomes obvious.
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Carrie Says….

I have recently found myself at a dead end, a writer’s dead end. My muse has taken flight and I can’t seem to find it. So for days I have sat looking at the blinking cursor and blank page on my computer screen with nothing to write. So I began to wonder (in my Carrie Bradshaw voice over voice) “What would Carrie say?”
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A Moment of Truth

Have you ever walked past the mirror and had to double back because you weren’t quite certain that the reflection was your own? You stand there looking trying to figure out when did your hair get so stringy, when did you lose so much weight and when did you age so rapidly? A better question would be “When did I lose sight of who I am?” Women are the most powerful creatures created by the higher power, women are also highly emotional by nature. No matter how tough a woman appears to be deep down there is a little girl who is as delicate as a flower. Too many times we trust and expect others to care for us as we would care for ourselves, nobody and I mean NOBODY is going to take care of you like you ( or so we think).

There are times in life where we find ourselves questioning our choices and motives, even as adults we tend to not make the best decisions. Be it our choice in a mate, a car, a job or even something as simple as what to eat for dinner some choices aren’t the right ones. There will be times we will have to suffer the consequences for our actions and choices, that’s a part of life. But it is our mistakes that make our fate, we learn from the past (at least we are supposed to). Too many times we hold on to things of the past and become complacent living in the “woulda, coulda, shouldas” and before you know it life has passed you by. It comes with age and wisdom that we realize that in order to enjoy the present you have to let go of the past. Nothing about life is going to be easy, but that doesn’t mean you have to make things harder.

 

“Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.” ~Carrie Bradshaw

A journey to Happily Ever After ~A Wedding Story~

What is it about getting married that intrigues little girls so much? Is it the fact that most of us grew up watching and believing in fairy-tales like the one Cinderella lived? Or is that just the idea of being in love and loved unconditionally and spending your life with someone who wants nothing more than to be with you that makes being married so desirable? For me it is a combination of both, among other things. As I near my thirties I hear the loud ticking of my “biological clock” in accordance with wanting to get married. (I already have the kid so that biological clock ticked out seven years ago) In the midst of battling with the internal nagging of self, I have expressed my desires to those close to me who all have this idea of me that it is merely the party that I desire most. (To a certain extent I slightly agree, but what do they know?) It is true that a marriage is not all about the wedding but what woman doesn’t want a fairytale wedding complete with horse and carriage and glass slippers? (Pardon my small obsessions with all things fairytale, up until I was 25 I believed in fairies, pixie dust and singing mice.) The movie “27 Dresses” with Katherine Heigl is one of my favorite movies along with “Bridemaids” however even though most of my friends are married I have only been in one wedding  my entire life and that’s when I was four. I have been blessed to attend quite a few beautiful weddings however and have been taking mental notes.

Before there can be a wedding there has to be a healthy courtship, that’s where most women tend to lose their footing. Even in 2012 there are a lot of women who are in a rush to get to the altar and end up running even faster to the court for a divorce. I plan on getting married and staying married, at all costs. You make a life long committment under the sight of GOD and vow for better or for worse than you should be willing to hold true to that and make it work. Too many people getting married to the right person for all the wrong reasons, I’m not here for that and as I always say I refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies. Just as I have seen relationships turn into great marriages I have also seen marriages turn into messy divorces. I have also seen couples who have become so complacent with the dysfunction that act as if nothing is wrong.  While fighting off the annoying inner nagging of my rapidly aging self I am not going to jump into marriage with my eyes shut. I do believe that there is one person who was created by GOD just for me to share time nd space, it is that person and that person only that I will change my last name for. (Pause.. YES I said I am willing to change my wonderful ever so fitting last name for the man that I will call husband! What a shocker!) As most people read this series of posts the question will come “Are you even in a relationship?” Over time the answer to that question will reveal itself . This post is the first in a series, from start to finish I will document my journey and the countdown to my  “happily ever after”. Some will be shocked as I go from single girl to married lady. From proposals to engagement parties, to dress shopping and cake tasting and much more my journey will be documented every step of the way.

You don’t marry someone you can live with, you marry the one you can’t live without.

~Carrie Bradshaw

The Carrie Bradshaw Philosophy

I will never be the woman with perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it, chair committees and write thank you notes. And I can’t feel bad about it.” ~Carrie Bradshaw

Lately I have been spending most weekends partaking in re-runs of Sex and the City, this is one show that I can never get tired of watching, no matter how many times I have seen a particular episode. As I have sat and watched each episode over and over I find that almost all of what Carrie says and believes when it comes to love and relationships can be applied to real life. From her off and on again relationship to Mr. Big to her friendships with Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte. Her philosophies and theories on love often times make a little too much sense to me. As I sat and watched one of my favorite episodes from Season 3 of the series “Attack of the Five-Foot Ten Woman” I realized that like Carrie there are a lot of women who envy other women for reasons that make no sense. In this episode Carrie was green with envy at even the slightest mention of Big’s wife Natasha, she went out of her way and budget to keep up with her in an attempt to prove to no one other than herself that she was just as good if not better than her ex’s new wife.

As women we often find ourselves feeling inferior to the next, for many different reasons, be it she is prettier, has longer hair or a better job we find many qualities in other women that cause us to be insecure. Most women who read this are going to shake their heads in disagreement, but deep down know that I am speaking the truth. Women are prideful by nature and aren’t going to admit to being jealous of someone else. The truth and the reality is, there is always going to be someone who is prettier, smarter, has nicer things and different talents than you, that’s the way we were created. If everyone was equally the same, the world would be full of Stepfords. If you spend time basing your life and dreams off that of others you aren’t truly living YOUR life, because you are too busy trying to live theirs. As I learned from watching this episode over and over we all have flaws, and as perfect as things may look from the outside, the grass is not always greener on the other side. The most beautiful woman in the world, may be mean and selfish, the richest women may be unhappy, the women with all the designer bags may be in debt and the list goes on.

“Since human nature is very much led by our reptilian brains, providing constant ‘lack or attack’ alerts, we often find ourselves coming up short when we play the comparison game. There will always be younger, taller, thinner, fitter, richer, smarter, more successful people than us. And similarly there will always be others lower down the evolutionary or ‘success’ ladder… looking up at us.”~

To simply sum it all up, comparisons are odious so why waste your time with them? The grass may be greener on the other side but there is also a higher landscaping bill.