“Fairy tales are more than true: Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” ~Neil Gaiman, Coraline
Truth: conformity with fact or reality, verity; a verifiable or indisputable fact.
Fairytales, fantasies and fallacies, it seems these are three things most are comfortable with these days. I’ll be the first to admit that for a long time I lived in a fantasy world, one where everything was perfect and happily ever after was the inevitable. That was me being an idealist, a dreamer and a girl who believed in the storylines of Walt Disney movies. (What little girl didn’t want a Cinderella life?) As I got older I found that my way of thinking was damaging and that being a realist (as boring as it sounded) was more realistic for a woman who was a mother. To a certain extent, no matter how much we deny it we all live in some sort of fantasy world where only the things you want to exist do.
Fairytale: an interesting yet highly implausible story, often told as an excuse
Why people put on epic biopic about their lives I have no clue. Who are you trying to impress by misleading a group of people who are doing the same thing? Unfortunately we live in a society where social networks have taken the place of human contact. In the cyber world (Facebook, Instagram and Twitter) you can be whomever you please. You can live a life so carefree and fancy all day everyday with no problem and people will believe you. (After all you can’t post anything on the internet that isn’t true right? RIGHT!) You can go on Instagram and post pictures so spectacular and alluring that those who don’t know you will hang on your every word and be so covetous of what you have they will unknowingly re-evaluate their own lives. Hence the cycle begins, a plethora of people pretending to be something they are not. On the contrary there always is and always will be someone who knows the real you, so you run the risk of being exposed for the fraud you really are. Once that happens then what will you do? When the fairytale becomes a nightmare how will you ever go on with your lies? The harsh reality of it is, more likely than not you will never be exposed for your falsities because the people with the ammunition to shoot you down will never let off a round for they are just as artificial as you. What satisfaction does your life get when you get likes or comments on a knock-off designer bag or an expensive rental car that’s not even yours? Does it add value to your life to have others envy you for your worldly, materialistic possessions that have no place at your judgement? Heaven doesn’t offer a storage unit.
“Could you date someone who you weren’t sexually attracted to?” A simple question with a complex answer.
The most immediate answer to that question is always a fast “No”, primarily because if you aren’t physically attracted to someone you aren’t going to date them let alone be sexually drawn to them. (That’s just human nature) Unless you are only dating someone for materialistic gain then their looks don’t particularly matter but that’s a different story in its entirety. Everybody has their own preference and what is ugly to one may be beautiful to another. Sometimes I wonder do people (both men and women) set unrealistic standards for themselves? How can you say you only date men with good hair and perfect teeth when you wear a weave and have braces? My original question led me to a different thought. “Some of the best relationships are those that start as friendships” Physical and sexual attraction is not a requirement for friendship, so should there come a time that you find yourself falling for a friend who in the eyes of most is not attractive do you deny your feelings? Do you hide your intentions when you find yourself magnetically attracted to someone who is simply not your normal? Continue reading
What is it about getting married that intrigues little girls so much? Is it the fact that most of us grew up watching and believing in fairy-tales like the one Cinderella lived? Or is that just the idea of being in love and loved unconditionally and spending your life with someone who wants nothing more than to be with you that makes being married so desirable? For me it is a combination of both, among other things. As I near my thirties I hear the loud ticking of my “biological clock” in accordance with wanting to get married. (I already have the kid so that biological clock ticked out seven years ago) In the midst of battling with the internal nagging of self, I have expressed my desires to those close to me who all have this idea of me that it is merely the party that I desire most. (To a certain extent I slightly agree, but what do they know?) It is true that a marriage is not all about the wedding but what woman doesn’t want a fairytale wedding complete with horse and carriage and glass slippers? (Pardon my small obsessions with all things fairytale, up until I was 25 I believed in fairies, pixie dust and singing mice.) The movie “27 Dresses” with Katherine Heigl is one of my favorite movies along with “Bridemaids” however even though most of my friends are married I have only been in one wedding my entire life and that’s when I was four. I have been blessed to attend quite a few beautiful weddings however and have been taking mental notes.
Before there can be a wedding there has to be a healthy courtship, that’s where most women tend to lose their footing. Even in 2012 there are a lot of women who are in a rush to get to the altar and end up running even faster to the court for a divorce. I plan on getting married and staying married, at all costs. You make a life long committment under the sight of GOD and vow for better or for worse than you should be willing to hold true to that and make it work. Too many people getting married to the right person for all the wrong reasons, I’m not here for that and as I always say I refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies. Just as I have seen relationships turn into great marriages I have also seen marriages turn into messy divorces. I have also seen couples who have become so complacent with the dysfunction that act as if nothing is wrong. While fighting off the annoying inner nagging of my rapidly aging self I am not going to jump into marriage with my eyes shut. I do believe that there is one person who was created by GOD just for me to share time nd space, it is that person and that person only that I will change my last name for. (Pause.. YES I said I am willing to change my wonderful ever so fitting last name for the man that I will call husband! What a shocker!) As most people read this series of posts the question will come “Are you even in a relationship?” Over time the answer to that question will reveal itself . This post is the first in a series, from start to finish I will document my journey and the countdown to my “happily ever after”. Some will be shocked as I go from single girl to married lady. From proposals to engagement parties, to dress shopping and cake tasting and much more my journey will be documented every step of the way.
You don’t marry someone you can live with, you marry the one you can’t live without.