Thirty before 30

Happy New Year! Clearly I am about one month and 1 day late but better late than never; right? As we have entered the second month of 2015 I am reminded that in a little less than 100 days I will enter a new phase of life; I will be turning the big THREE-O. I have dreaded turning thirty since I turned twenty-five, I even tried shaving a few years off my age by telling a little white lie for three years. [I got away with it until my son started telling all my secrets] So here I am, just a few months shy of the dreaded new decade and I am surprisingly excited. My twenties were not all that bad, but they weren’t all that great either; however I am looking forward to my thirties being my best years yet. Over the weekend I found myself thinking of all the things that a woman should know [and or posses] before [ or by the time] she turns thirty. So I decided to compile a list and leave them here with you. So here we go.

30. How to change a tire~ This one is self-explanatory; especially considering the whole damsel in distress act has long since played out. I realize there is a such thing as AAA and Roadside Assistance; but in the off chance your cell phone is dead and you blow a flat this is something a woman no longer in her twenties should know.

29. How to politely, diplomatically and tastefully check someone ~I think it goes without saying that by time you reach your thirties a woman should be a little less snappy and a lot more poised. Less neck rolling and more word venom.

28. How to small talk in a social setting and do a classy two-step at office parties and conservative events ~ Being shy and reserved should be reserved for your younger years, the ability to create conversation should come with age. The older you get the wiser. And please, save your bar crawl for a time when your boss is not in attendance.

27. A Passport~ I will be the first to admit that I have yet to leave the country; despite being well traveled nationally I have never taken a cruise or seen the ocean from the other side of the world. However, I know that should an opportunity for international travel arise, I need to be prepared. [Never know when Prince Charming is going to want to whisk you away to that private island]

26. A financial plan~ It doesn’t matter if you have 100 or 100,000 dollars having a financial plan ( or budget) should be a given. Wearing expensive clothes but eating ramen noodles isn’t okay after a certain age.

25. A good pair of black heels, a white button down shirt and a little black dress~ Do I really have to explain this one? These are part of the women over 25 survival kit.

24. How to live alone and be okay with it~ I think this is pretty self explanatory

23. How to properly clean a kitchen~ This one I may not fully nail until I am thirty-one. Cleaning is not my favorite pastime; however I do know that dirty dishes are never to be left in the sink overnight. [Thanks Granny]

22. How to say no and not feel bad about it~ Everything asked or requested of you does not require a YES. It is okay to say NO and not feel guilty in doing so.

21. How to apologize when you are wrong~ Let’s face it, women are ALWAYS right, Right? WRONG! There are times when being humble is the inevitable, it is totally fine to say I’m Sorry. We can’t be right ALL the time [just 99.9% of the time]

20. When to wear pantyhose~ I know, I know, I know, PANTYHOSE?! Yes, pantyhose! Once the temperature drops below 50 degrees it is time to pull out the stockings; especially if you are wearing a dress or skirt. Bare legs in zero below is asking for pneumonia.

19. How to eat alone in a restaurant (and not feel weird)~ It has taken me quite sometime to become comfortable sitting and eating alone. I used to have to talk on the  phone, text or something of the sort. Now I have no problem at all taking myself on a date.

18. Your correct bra size~ This personally has been a tough one for me, bra sizes seem to  fluctuate with lifestyle changes. [Pregnancy, weight gain, weight loss etc] Wearing a bra two sizes too small or one size too large is just plain uncomfortable, that top boob thing is just…..

17. How to cook a gourmet meal~ Yeah, sorry Hamburger Helper is no longer considered gourmet once you hit thirty. You may not be a world class chef but knowing how to cook at least one complete meal that is not your “meatloaf surprise” is a start.

16. How to have a healthy relationship with the opposite sex~ This does not necessarily mean being in a “relationship”; however being able to co-exist with the opposite sex is essential to healthy and happy living.

15. How to have a healthy relationship with yourself~ I think Carrie Bradshaw said it best, ”

“But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

14. An understanding that not everyone is going to like you, but they will respect you~ They don’t have to lik e you but you can demand respect. Need I say more?

13. A good body shaper~Even us thin girls need a little Lycra to hold it all in. No shame in that.

12. A solid idea of where life is headed~ Our teenage years are spent trying to find our footing; and our twenties are spent trying to keep them planted firmly. Thirties are for going for what you want without hesitation.

11. Your credit score~ This goes along with being financially aware; having bad credit is understandable when you’re twenty-one. But at thirty it’s just irresponsible.

10. The awareness that settling for less is not an option

9. A sense of peace~ Because it’s essential to healthy living.

8. Your HIV status~ NO EXPLANATION REQUIRED

7. How you feel about having children~ I realize that in this day and age women are having children long before thirty; in the off chance you are still part of the “Kid Free” club you should know if you want them or not and when.

6. Chipped nail polish is a NO NO~ Just the thought makes me cringe. Chipped and unkept nails aren’t acceptable at any age, especially when you’re approaching thirty. I personally believe a woman with chipped nail polish can’t be trusted.

5. How to dress according to your shape and size~ I don’t think I can stress this one enough. Just because it comes in your size does not mean it is meant for you. That goes for women of all shapes and sizes, dress for your body type. Everything doesn’t look good on everybody. Know thy self!

4. A greater appreciation for your mother and grandmother~ This does not mean having understanding, but appreciating the vessel that provided you life and wisdom.

3. How to love selflessly

2. What makes you happy

1. Life REALLY begins at Thirty~ ENJOY!!! 30

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