One of my favorite Hollywood couples is the beautiful actress Paula Patton and the ever so handsome song bird Robin Thicke. Without pointing out the obvious, she is African-American and he is Caucasian, none the less they are a beautiful couple. On the flip side you have another one of my favorite couples, actor Nick Cannon and songstress Mariah Carey. Again, without pointing out the obvious Nick is African-American and although she looks the part and classifies herself to be of the Caucasian persuasion Mariah is bi-racial. (Her mother is Irish and her father Afro-Venezuelan aka African-American) Because of this fact some will argue that this is not considered an interracial marriage, however since she identifies herself as white it is. Like these famous couples, everyday people encounter criticism for choosing to marry outside their race. The fact that people are still so closed-minded when it comes to color in 2013 baffles me, have we not grown to realize that love bears no color?
“I think it’s something that needs to be said – that there are interracial marriages out there, and the couples live happy lives, and there’s nothing wrong with it.”~ Tia Mowry
Being from a family that is diverse in color and race (I have an aunt from India and one from Ohio) I was never raised seeing color, especially when it came to love. It is the common misconception that I am mixed with African-American and Caucasian, when I am not mixed with white at all. With that being said, aside from my aunt from Ohio I am the lightest person in my family and surprisingly dating outside my “race” is not something I have ventured into. Do I think my family would be receptive to a man who wasn’t black? Like all families I know that anyone I brought home would meet resistance but not because of his color. I am a firm believer in the idea that you can’t help who you love, we are all a creation and reflection of GOD and as a Christian we know that GOD is love. (This is not a religious post I promise) Unfortunately we live in a society where interracial relationships as common as they are, are still frowned upon. I blame this on mental conditioning, which begins in the home but dates back to our ancestors. (What if I told you that all races came from the African people? Would you believe me?) The mixing of races dates back to the days of slavery, when slave owners begin having sex with their slaves and some documented cases (Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemmings) falling in love with them. Moving forward, during the times of segregation and civil rights a black man wouldn’t dare date a white woman, does that mean it didn’t happen? Of course not. Here we are hundreds of years later, free to love whomever we want and still living with antiquated ideals that the races should not mix.
I asked those close to me how they would feel if I came home with a white guy. The typical ping back is always how would you feel if your son brought home a white girl. As a mother I’m not ready for him to bring home a girl of ANY color, but I teach him not to see color so as long as he were happy it doesn’t matter. As long as she treats him like the King he is, she can be purple or green. I say that love has no color and you can’t help who you love but sometimes I find that person’s who date outside their race for all the wrong reasons. “I only date white women because black women’ require too much.” Says the under achieved black man “I prefer white men because black men don’t have any real goals”~Says the “Hillary Banks” black woman “I only date light skin men with good hair because I don’t want any dark-skinned children with nappy hair” ~Says the brown skin sista “You know what they say, once you gone black you never go back. Besides black men have big, nevermind.” ~Says Buffy the Negro Slayer. If anything bothers me about interracial couples it’s interracial couples that don’t make sense. To date someone not for love but so your children are a certain skin tone or have a specified texture of hair is by far the stupidest thing I have ever heard. In reality that doesn’t guarantee a good grade of hair or light skin, my father was Green Mile dark and my mother has a caramel complexion with a red tint; and here I am, light almost white with naturally curly hair. (Who’s the daddy is a question most people ask) My point in that is, interracial couples get enough backlash when two people are in love, why give an already sore subject another issue? Let’s be real for a minute, white don’t mean he is right, black men aren’t the only ones who lack drive. Any woman of any color is going to have standards and requirements and just cause she is white doesn’t mean she is docile. And trust, once you go black you may want to go back!
All I’m saying is that the closed-minded ideology of people these days is what is constantly holding us back. We are still living our lives subconsciously based off that of those who came before us. If the person you are with makes you happy does it matter what color their skin is? Women of color are constantly contradicting themselves in saying that all the good black men are dating white women just to turn around and say all black men are dogs. You can’t have your cake and eat it too, you don’t want a black man but mad cause the black men prefer another race? At some point we have to accept that times are changing but as much as they change they also stay the same.
Take care of each other.