Truth Be Told

*Before accepting my current position with a Fortune 500 company I worked for a local family black owned non-profit organization, while there were a few vanilla sprinkles here and there, the company was mostly African-American. My Senior VP was the definition of a strong black man and I had a tremendous amount of respect for him.(May he rest in peace) Every now and then he would come with euphemisms that would leave you thinking hours later about meaning of what he said and what it meant. “If not you then who, if not now when?” was always one of my favorite “one hitta quittas” as I call them. These past couple of weeks I have posted some articles that have ruffled some feathers and peaked some interests. Yesterday after my blog begin to circulate I was told by several different people that what I was saying was too real and that people weren’t ready to hear to the truth. I particularly am not one who is in the business of babysitting or patrolling the feelings of adults, so I am going to tell the truth and I don’t really care who can’t handle it or who is offended. * ~B~

Yesterday I asked the question to no one person in particular: ” If you can’t call him in an emergency why is it he can call you at any time (day or night) for sex?” (I am not bias nor am I anti-gay so my questions and posts can be interrupted to fit one’s lifestyle be it hetero or homosexual I don’t discriminate) There were a few “Amens” here and there but that isn’t what I was searching for. I wanted a real response and that’s exactly what I got.

“If the relationship is just sexual and a woman knows that, then that’s on her. Giving your body to a man doesn’t mean he has one up on you or is in control. Long as you’re having sex because you want to, women have needs to. A woman can be in control it’s just when those emotions get involved does drama begin.  You have to know where you are in life, if you want a man you can get your issue off with, then do so and don’t try to change the dynamic of the relationship. If it’s always been about sex, don’t get mad if he can’t save you when you call. If that’s what you’re looking for (someone to save you) then you need to be looking for a husband not a cut buddy.”

You CAN'T Handle The Truth!

You CAN’T Handle The Truth!

I found myself agreeing with her response to a certain degree. However it is no secret that women are emotional in nature and only a cruel and heartless woman (which there aren’t many) can truly handle a sex only relationship. Just as there is only a rare breed of women who can deal with being a side chick, no matter how hard a woman tries she can never really turn her feelings off and eventually emotions come into the picture and complicate things. Women never see themselves as booty calls, which is the reason why a woman would call a man whom she only sees after hours in the event of an emergency. If you don’t feel you can depend on him in a time of need why is worthy of your most precious jewel? Your body? The ugly truth of the matter is, women will settle for having a piece of man instead of having no man at all. (This is the very reason we accept a sideline position or anything less than a girlfriend or wife. Or why we still stay with a man who is unfaithful) Women quickly and easily confuse good sex and deep pockets with love. An orgasm and a new knock-off doesn’t equal love. It means you are a selling yourself short for a penis and a purse, to a man who more than likely has a wife, girlfriend or live in baby mama at home. Men are quick to put on like they are looking for a wife when what they really want is the Mrs. Ceily type. They want a woman who is going to cook, clean and take care of their bad ass children while he is out getting his boots rocked by his Suge Avery. A man will only treat you the way you let him, and if you let him climb on top of you and “do his business” then my dear he will continue to shit on you.


I say all of that to say, whether you are the wife, girlfriend, baby mama, side bitch or booty call you need to know your worth. Women quickly and unknowingly devalue themselves the moment a man starts saying the right things. Morals and proper upbringing goes out the window and legs spread faster than margarine on toast. We allow men to disrespect and mistreat us as if that’s the way GOD intended it. Men have women arguing and fighting over them as if they have another chick waiting in the wings to fill the spot. The moment women realize that calling each other bitches and hoes when you find out ya’ll are sharing penis is ineffective will be the moment all becomes right within the world. She is not a hoe because she is sleeping with your man she is your teammate, embrace each other. Stop giving yourselves to someone who is not worthy of entering your temple. Each time you lay down with someone, be it for one night, months or years you are creating a soul tie. So before you open your legs stop and ask yourself, “Do I want to be bound to this person?”

“If not now? When? If not you? Who?”

Take care of yourselves ~B~

2 thoughts on “Truth Be Told

  1. T.C. says:

    I have found your thoughts on this subject enlightening to say the least. I have also learned. However there are a few points that I would like to make. The pieces that you write have a sense of “victim” in them. It comes off as you are telling ladies something they don’t know already. Like you said these are grown folks and the truth shall set you free but only if you want to be free.
    I would not say that I disagree with anything you’ve said but I would say its a bit one sided or maybe incomplete. We as men are not the bad guy in most cases and the times we are. It’s probably even with women who lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, false advertise, disrespect, fall short, are insecure, etc, etc, etc. There are few times that a man dose not show you who he is soon after you met him. Women make the choice to try and change him or except him or think they can deal with it. This happens more often then not and most women would agree if they were truly honest about it.
    Understand there are about 40+ women to every man. Stop expecting us to to behave like we don’t have options. Also stop trying to rewrite the book on how this (relationships) work with out a co-author(us men). One of the biggest problems that’s harming us is that women are jealous. Not jealous of each other they are jealous of MEN!!!! They want to do EVERYTHING that men do. And when we say we don’t like it, we are told that we can’t handle a strong women (Lol). I think something women could do to help men and themselves. Is stop trying to be tough. There are a lot of women who would make a beautiful wife but they also tend to talk tough,address there prospective mate like there tough and other masculine behavior. A large amount of women want to get a whole bunch of tattoos and drink and smoke like men. Fight in the streets like men and all this crazy shit.
    Now I know there are going to be a bunch of women who will swear be damned that they are not like this at all and they are the exception. And you not!!!! You may not be some chick on the bad girls club but its still not something we would want to have and hold till death to us part. We follow your lead and y’all want sex and money. That’s what we try and give you. Sure you say you want other things but most will renege on those things of sex and money showed up as temptation.

    • Brendolyn Marie says:

      I have no problem speaking from a man’s point of view. I am not at all bias nor do I believe that anything that I have written is gospel. There is no such thing as VICE VERSA, women can not do what men do and not be labeled. I dont think the rules and regulations were from a victim stand point, a woman who knowingly enters a relationship with a man who is already in a relationship is not a victim she knows good and damn well what she is getting herself into. I don’t blame men for all of the short comings of women as we are very much at fault in certain situations. Im not a man so I can only speak from the stand point of a woman. I could very well do what men do and have no problem with it, any woman can so I have no reason to be jealous. It is the stimga of being called a hoe that keeps women from doing it or exposing themselves. Now if you want to collab and help me give my readers a male point of view I am all for it.

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