The Side Chick Chronicles~Part Two

*Personally I feel that being a side chick, mistress and or other woman is counterproductive to your growth as a woman. What is that you gain from being someone’s dirty little secret? Money? A sense of security? A wet behind? It is sad that so many people (women especially) are settling for such a lifestyle. But here it is Part Two of the Side Chick Chronicles, the remaining five Commandments.*

6) Thou Shall Not Have Unprotected Sex; this is self-explanatory but there are plenty of women out here raw dogging a man who is sleeping with someone else with a condom. (And let’s be realistic if he is cheating on his better half with you what makes you think he is faithful to you? Don’t worry I’ll wait) With so many communicable diseases floating around you should want to protect yourself from catching something you can’t get rid of. (there are less extreme cases than HIV/AIDS like Herpes Simplex, syphilis, and Genital Warts) Not only that, but you also run the risk of an unplanned (or planned) pregnancy. No man is going to allow his side piece to carry and give birth to his seed, so by getting knocked up you are asking for problems and a trip to the clinic.

7) Thou Shall Not Fall In Love; if at any point in time you find yourself falling in love you need to remove yourself from the situation because you are stepping into dangerous territory. When you stepped up into the role of the “other woman” you knew you were joining a show already in progress. You are a side piece for a convenience, not emotions, feelings or love. You signed an unspoken, unwritten agreement to check your emotions at the door. Love is not an option.

8) Thou Shall Not Be A Fool; because men can dish and not take it, you will be asked to be faithful to him. Only a natural-born idiot would be faithful to a cheater. In abiding by this ridiculous request you are leaving the flood gates open to end up catching feelings which as I have already explained is on the list of DON’Ts. Sure he will get mad when and if he finds out that he is in fact your side nigga, but who cares what room does he have to make demands when he is cheater extraordinaire?

9) Thou Shall Know When It Is Time To Walk Away; if at anytime the situation becomes too emotionally overbearing or the flame begins to die down you have to be smart enough to end it. If you realize that the requirements YOU set in the beginning are no longer being met you have to re-evaluate the situation and ask yourself, “Why am I sticking around?” Should he decide that it is you that he wants and leaves his woman for you, have enough dignity to decline the offer. It should be at that exact moment that a light bulb comes on and a little voice says, “If you become his main bitch, your spot as a side bitch is now open and waiting to be filled.” Women before us teach us, if he cheated with you he will cheat on you. Don’t become a victim of circumstance.

10) Thou Shall NOT Be A Side Chick With Oliva Pope Expectations; This the cardinal rule of hoeism. Shonda Rhimes has a team of writers who have so wonderfully captivated audiences with their spectacular storylines of Olivia and Fitz. Please know that is fiction and if I have said it once I will say it again, Liv is a side bitch with main bitch expectations and feelings. Don’t fall for the lies and deception because in the end you are still just a side piece, a mistress, a convenience to a man who has a life with someone else. You can’t expect anything more than what you signed up for.

Here is a little extra advice, a mistress is supposed to be everything his in-house is not. Do not nag, whine, bitch or any thing that you know he gets from his woman. Not all men cheat because they are unsatisfied at home but because they have a wayward penis and a need for an assortment. In short, create the fantasy. Sidechick1

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