From the Desk of “Her”

In a perfect world there is no such thing as infidelity, cheating, side chicks, main chicks etc. However we do not live in a perfect world. We can ask that a man be faithful, we can make it a requirement if we so please but let’s face it a man is going to do what a man wants to do. For cases such as these here is a small list of demands from the desk of “hers” around the world.

*Disclaimer* The views expressed in this post do not reflect those of myself.

“Do NOT tell and or give “the other woman” the impression that she is your “girlfriend”

Obviously she is settling anyway, despite being raised with morals and having set standards for herself, so there is no need to give her a title. Once a title has been given she will feel as though she has some sort of power in the situation and that is just assanine. Unbeknownst to most men women accept the position of a side chick in hopes of one day becoming the main chick or believe that you really want to be with them. Regardless, they are comfortable with having part of you as aposed to none of you, so giving her a false sense of power is pointless. And do not play “boyfriend” to her, do not have play dates with her children, meet her mother, hang out with her friends or keep clothes at her house. That is NOT your girlfriend!

“Do NOT down talk me to her or throw me under the bus, train or automobile.”

Do not defame my name to make her feel good about herself and her status. Furthermore, do not give her anything that she could possibly use as ammo against me in public. Women are vendictive by nature, so when given the opportunity a scorned women will bear her soul in an attempt to save herself heartache and humilation. Sure women lie, but if you’re sitting around pillow talking about how I don’t do this and don’t do that, can’t cook and have gotten lazy in bed and it comes out. I’m going to know where it came from and it won’t be nothing you can tell me.

“Do NOT give her access to me”mimi_faust_and_stevie_j

There is no reason, on no day that your mistress should know, where I live, work, kick it, get my hair done or my eyebrows threaded. She should not have my email address, Twitter or Instagram user name, hell she shouldn’t even know my government. Women are born CIA agents, with the smallest amount of information we can find out any and everything, so the smallest most innocent comment can and will be placed in a mental folder for use at a later time. (Remember every woman has a little Nancy Drew in them. Don’t underestimate our ability to find things out.)  

“Do NOT have unprotected sex with her”

If you are comfortable enough to have unprotected sex with her then you need to be with her. Sex without a rubber leads to diseases you may or not be able to get rid of unplanned pregnancies. Be honest with yourself, you don’t know who she is sleeping with so you can’t vouche for her reproductive health. The moment you bring something back will be the moment Oxygen does a story on you on an episode of Snapped. The first time I feel a tingling, burning or itching sensation we gone all be in the clinic together like one big menage’ trois! Now, you impregnanting your side chick is the least of my worries, that’s YOUR PROBLEM not mine but I won’t be playing step-mama to your bastard children even on my worst day. joseline-pregnancy-test

“Take care of home”

Men so quick to blame their wayward dick on their “main”, when in reality they just have a need for variety. It may very true that I tend to fuss, or nag or be moody but if you are on your game and doing what needs to be done at home then I would have no reason to do any of those things. If I complain that you aren’t spending enough time with me and you know it’s because you’re with her you need to re-evaluate the situation and make sure I’m happy first. Then just maybe you won’t have the need or desire to cheat.

“Do NOT fall in love with her”

If at any point you find yourself falling in love with her YOU NEED TO LEAVE ME ALONE! There is nothing more that needs to be said.


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