Most of us recently celebrated Valentine’s Day, a day that you either love or you hate there is no in between. Valentine’s Day is a man-made holiday predicated by the retail industry to make money and lead people to believe they are not loved if they don’t share the day with someone special. (It’s a load of crap if you ask me, but then again I have not celebrated the day in over five years.) Immediately following Valentine’s Day on February 15th you have what some call, “side chic appreciation day” (some more bullshit that I’m 95% sure was created in the African-American community by some bitter betty). Side chic appreciation day is self-explanatory, it is the day following Valentine’s Day where men (or women) can show appreciation to their side piece of whom they likely ignored on the previous day while spending time with their “main”. My question is, when did it become so socially and or morally acceptable for women (I can only speak from the stand point of a woman considering) to accept the fact that their man is cheating on them? When did infidelity become so common? Seeing all the posts and comments about side chics made me pull out the blues collection, the old school songs that are comical now but speak volumes of truth.
Shirley Brown was at one point a scorned woman’s idol, “Woman to Woman” was an anthem to many. After so long and really listening to her words you realize how silly she sounded, she was just as stupid and naive as the woman she was calling. “Hello? May I speak to Barbara? Barbara this is Shirley, now you might not know me but the reason I’m calling is because I was going through my old’s pants pockets this morning and just happen to find your name and number. (PAUSE, unless she was doing laundry she shouldn’t have been going through that man’s pockets.) Now Barbara, I don’t know how you’re gonna take this, whether you be cool or come out of a bag on me it really doesn’t matter. But I’d thought I’d let you know, that the man you’re in love with, he’s mine, from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet the bed he sleeps in and every piece of food he eats I make it possible. The car he drives, I pay the note every month.” (I’m going to stop right there Shirley was a fool.) Her purpose in calling “Barbara” was to tell her all the reasons why she should leave her man alone, but in the end she made herself look crazy.
Then there is my girl, Denise LaSalle, “Your Husband is Cheating On Us” I personally love this song. It is the testimony of the other woman, who has become the other woman. “He’s got too many women. Now somebody’s got to go, but before I bow out gracefully I’ll tell everything I know.” Some easily argue that this is the tale of the side chic who is mad that her spot has been filled, but I will beg to differ, she is a woman who knows her place and is making the choice to remove herself from the situation. “The lies he used to tell you, I know them all too well. But know he is lying to me and that’s why I’m going to tell. He’s lying to me, he’s lying to you and it won’t be long before he’s lying to her too.” The one thing women fail to realize and it’s usually the “main” chic that can’t grasp this concept is that the other woman is not your opponent, she is your teammate. Why would you be mad at her when her obligation is not to you? He is the one obligated to be upfront and honest with you, she may very well be aware of you and know her role but what does she owe you? (Please don’t give me that “I’m another woman” line either cause that doesn’t mean you’re entitled to be informed of YOUR man’s infidelity). By no means do I condone cheating or the utilization of a “side chic” by a man in a relationship.
Too many women acknowledge or boast if you will about being a man’s main chic when in reality she should be the ONLY woman. Music over the years has shaded the shadiness in cheating. Songs like “As We Lay” by Shirley Murdock who is singing about sleeping with a married man and send him home when the sun comes up, “Clean Up Woman” by Betty Wright who warns ladies about the woman who will take your man once you’ve acted up and even Xscape “My Little Secret” “just like being in the same room with you and your girlfriend.” Whether you are the other woman or the main you should hold yourself in a higher regard than settling for a man who feels the need to have more than one woman to be satisfied. Too many women sit at home on Thursday nights watching “Scandal” on ABC praying about having a relationship like Olivia and Fitz. NEWSFLASH: That is fiction and at the end of the day no matter how many times Fitz runs lines like “I exist only for you” or pulls Liv into a side room for steamy sex he is still married and she is a side bitch with main chic intentions and feelings.
Don’t be a victim.
Thank me later Sincerely,