“Could you date someone who you weren’t sexually attracted to?” A simple question with a complex answer.
The most immediate answer to that question is always a fast “No”, primarily because if you aren’t physically attracted to someone you aren’t going to date them let alone be sexually drawn to them. (That’s just human nature) Unless you are only dating someone for materialistic gain then their looks don’t particularly matter but that’s a different story in its entirety. Everybody has their own preference and what is ugly to one may be beautiful to another. Sometimes I wonder do people (both men and women) set unrealistic standards for themselves? How can you say you only date men with good hair and perfect teeth when you wear a weave and have braces? My original question led me to a different thought. “Some of the best relationships are those that start as friendships” Physical and sexual attraction is not a requirement for friendship, so should there come a time that you find yourself falling for a friend who in the eyes of most is not attractive do you deny your feelings? Do you hide your intentions when you find yourself magnetically attracted to someone who is simply not your normal?
Attraction: a person or thing that draws, attracts, allures, entices ; a characteristic or quality that provides pleasure.
Most are attracted to a person in the physical before even getting to know who they are as a person. A man could be Billy Dee Williams fine and have the personality of naval lent, a woman with Beyonce like features could have an attitude so stank it leaks through her pores. But all you were looking at was his million dollar smile and her d-cups so you never had any clue how horrible they were underneath the epidermis. It’s just like the Jack Black movie “Shallow Hal” some of the hardest people to look at are the nicest people around. (Probably because you can’t be ugly inside if you’re ugly outside and in all honesty ugly people don’t think they are ugly). Some of most beautiful people in the world have the worst personalities, history tells us that Cleopatra, while beautiful as she was, was a horrible person who used her physical to manipulate all around her.
We are naturally attracted to what we see, visual stimulation is part of our chemical component. If you could see a person’s insides before you saw the outside physical would you be attracted to do a different kind of person? I don’t consider myself to be shallow by far but I have always been attracted to a certain type of man, the suave ladies man, the man who every woman wants. (I’ve seen them as personal conquests) But there is a small problem with these men, they normally have a very nasty and over-confident attitude and I have too big of a personality to ever deal with such foolishness. Not to sound conceited but being that I am a pretty girl I can attest to the fact that for most part my attitude sucks, but to know me is to love me and I have one hell of a personality. For me to date a man who doesn’t complement my physical would be shocking. But in all honesty the people who are lacking in looks are the best people to be in relationships with, they have more to prove so they work harder at making the relationship work. A person who makes love to your mind will eventually become attractive to the eye and your body will follow suit. It’s a tale as old as time, it’s the story of Beauty and the Beast. Look at Princess Fiona and Shrek, she was a beautiful princess (inside and out) who was cursed with an ugly exterior until she met her true love. She expected her prince charming to be just that, prince charming looks and all. It wasn’t, it was a mean ogre who she couldn’t stand to look at, but he rescued her, he protected her and took care of her and there was nothing more she could ask. But Shrek didn’t think he was good enough for the beautiful princess. It’s the story of unexpected love with the happy ending.
At some point we all explore the option and possibility of dating someone who isn’t so easy on the eyes in an effort to make the logical choice and not seem shallow. But in then end our instincts kick in and the relationship doesn’t work. A beautiful woman with an ugly man is an intimidating combination, but one thing is for sure he will work hard to make and keep her happy. Ugly people have something to prove.