I have to admit I was very uninterested in the Olympics this year as I have for as long as I can remember. I didn’t watch an opening ceremony let alone a race or a gymnastic competition. So needless to say this post has very little to do with the actual Olympics or anything pertaining to Gabby Douglas or Michael Phelps, so just follow me.
“Hey Ladies, Relationships are NOT like gymnastics or diving in the Olympics. They DON’T give extra points for degree of difficulty. Not saying you shouldn’t have a mind of your own, but to deliberately make yourself harder to get along with under the guise of being “strong” is ridiculous. And most often will have you finding yourself ALONE.”
It took me a minute after reading this profound statement to realize that this in fact was a subliminal message that while not intended directly towards me it was intended for me. At first I laughed to myself at the comparison of a relationship to an event in the Olympics. I have heard people refer to relationships to many things but this was a first. “They DON’T give extra points for degree of difficulty” struck a small nerve within me, maybe because in using the argument that I am “strong” I have more times than not made myself harder to get along with than necessary. I know I am not the only woman who has found herself to be guilty of such. The harsh reality is that no man wants a woman that won’t allow him to be a man. (Don’t get me wrong no man wants a woman who is needy and clingy either) There has to be a healthy balance and for a woman who is used to taking care of herself or one who has dealt in heartbreak that can be a difficult find. However, if you value your relationship the search must begin. Even as I write these words I struggle to find the medium between being “strong” and just being a bitch. It is no easy task to let your guards down and embrace the idea that someone other than you may have your best interest at heart and want to take care of you without asking anything in return. (Seems outrageous that someone may actually NOT be out to hurt you when so many were)
I am far from a relationship expert or the person to give relationship advice to another, but when you have found yourself in a situation then have that “Ah Ha” moment you can offer a bit of insight. “And most often you will find yourself ALONE”, that final statement sent a chill through my spine and a sharp pain through my heart. I don’t believe anyone, man or woman wants to be alone. Just like we don’t want to continue dating the wrong person, and in an effort to weed out the bad women often play the villain. You have to play the bad guy in order to figure out who the good guy is. Right? It’s ok to play hard to get to see who is willing to continue the chase? Isn’t it? How long is a man supposed to deal with your bullshit? Is he supposed to stick around in hopes that eventually you will see that he isn’t out to hurt you but in fact to heal the wounds that were caused by loves gone past? Fact of the matter is, just as we get tired so do they and eventually he is going to become tired of playing cat and mouse. There are so many damaged women, myself included that we don’t know what we have until it’s too late. They say that time heals all, and while at times it may not seem as though that is true and that the wounds merely become invisible on the surface love heals all if you are open to it. Don’t keep punishing the good guy because of the mistakes of the bad guy, do that and you’ll find yourself in last place with no medal. Trust me, the losers’ circle isn’t where you want to be.