Open Letter to my Seven Year-Old Self

My Dearest Brendolyn,
How beautiful is your innocence at the tender age of seven? How peaceful your life must be worrying of nothing but climbing trees and playing in your mother’s high heels and nail polish? I  want to first apologize to you, because over the years I will not protect you the way that I should.  Instead of preserving the innocence that you posses at the age of seven I will allow it to be taken away and your world will be tainted before you reach fifteen. But if nothing else I want you to know that I am sorry for the pain you will one day endure, for the heartaches you will not so easily overcome and more importantly for disrespecting the temple that is yours. Growing up, pieces of you will be chipped away by others and you will not realize the gift that is you that was created by GOD. There will be times when others will find joy in tearing you down and it will hurt and send you to a place so lonely and unearthing you will want to crawl deep inside yourself and give up. Not realizing your strength you will overcome and face your deepest fears.
In about eight years you will have a phone conversation that will affect your life in ways that your young mind can not fathom. On March 21, 2000 you will tell your father one last time that you love him and no sooner that those words are spoken and the call ends he will unexpectedly leave this Earth and you. It is at that moment that your entire world will fall apart, and the light that once shined so brightly inside you will dim. You will seek the love that was taken away from you in all the wrong places, which after so long will rock you to the core. It will be your love for all the wrong men that will confuse you and blind you to what true love looks like. It will be a long time before you come to the realization that love is not abusive, cruel or unkind. Love does not use you or make you sick. I wish I could tell you that things quickly get better but that would only be a lie, as a matter of fact even at the age of 27 you will find yourself in the eye of the tornado and the midst of a storm. You must remember your strength.
Do not get discouraged Kiddo in reading these words, for where there is a storm there is a rainbow.  While feeling your way through darkness you will find something buried deep down inside you, your words. Finding solace in pencil and paper it is the notion that no matter how you feel you can always write about it that encourages you to tell your story. Little do you know your talent will not go unnoticed, your accomplishments as a writer will only begin with your first article being published in September 2007.
 But my sweet innocent curly haired girl your greatest accomplishment to date is becoming a mother, that’s right you will give birth to a child who will ultimately save you and become your greatest joy as well as your reason for living and loving. You see, you were put on this Earth to be three things, a wife, a mother and a writer, guess what? You are 2/3 of the way there. Be not unsettled you are closer to becoming a wife than one may think. The Prince you so often dream of will come in the form of a 6 foot 4 inch tall man who instead of a white horse rides a black motorcycle who first was your friend. Love him with your heart and from your soul, don’t let the mistakes of those before him jade your relationship.
There will be times when you want to give up, DON’T! There will be days when you can barely get out of bed for being so exhausted, GET UP! On days when it seems that there is no fight left, think of Laethan. I can’t tell you that life will be easy or that you won’t make mistakes. However, I can tell you that older and wiser Brendolyn will do her best to be the best daughter, sister, mother and wife that she can be. She will ask for forgiveness from those whom she has hurt, she will love with all her heart and will be a faithful servant of the GOD who created her. More importantly she will not allow others to determine her definition or self nor her life’s purpose. And she will laugh even if nobody else laughs with her.
 27 year-old You   

What's on your mind?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s