My Dearest Son,
My love for you began months before I ever laid eyes on you. From the moment I found out you were growing inside me I knew that I loved you. The first time I felt you move I knew I wanted you to be something great. It was long before I heard your first cry that I knew that if I had to, I would gladly lay down my life for yours.
You entered this world seven weeks early, 4 pounds 7 ounces at 1:18pm. I couldn’t see you but I heard you, I held my hand out and you grabbed my finger, and my heart melted, I knew then what uncoditional love felt like. Although life for us hasn’t been easy, we have had to grow up together learning each day something new about this “mother/son” thing. I have spent many nights just watching you sleep, listening to you breathe and praying over you silently. Daily I listen for your voice, your laugh, your cries and I live for your smile. Days that go by without hearing “Mommy, I love you” are torture. You have no idea how something as simple as “Mommy your hamburger helper is the best ever”
makes my life have such meaning. In your little mind I can do no wrong and that means more to me than anything.
I have made some mistakes throughout this journey, and one day when you are older I will share them with you. (to be honest as the years continue I will probably make many more mistakes.) Although I have made some bad choices in my life I have always managed to make only the best when it comes to you and your well being.
I pray that you never know pain, that your heart is never broken, or that you never experience betrayal from someone whom you love dearly. But the reality of it is, you will know pain, someone will break your heart and you will break someone’s heart, you will put faith in someone and they will betray your trust. I will do my best to ease that pain, I will listen to you when get angry and I just like now at the age of six and a half I will wipe your tears and ask you “Who did it?”
My dearest son, as you grow from a boy to a man I want you to know that my love for you is forever unchanging and that no matter how big or old you get, I will always be your “Mommy”. You inspire me to be a better me. If I knew giving you the stars would make you happy, I’d go get them. Days have come when I wanted to give up, then I think about you and all my problems become irrelevant and I gather up the strength to fight another battle.