Over the years I have come to the sad realization that black women are argumentatively the most stereotypical individuals when it comes to being angry and bitter. Because we are created in the likeness of GOD we were not created in anger and bitterness, but for some reason there is this chip on the shoulder of almost all black women. I rarely see an angry white women, or a little Asian lady walking around with her face in a permanent scowl. One of the arguments as to what drives the deep-rooted anger of the black woman is the black man. Studies have shown that African-American women are the most unpartnered people in the nation, 2 out of every 3 black women are unmarried and without a committed partner. Does this truly give one a reason to walk around with the mad at the world attitude? There are other contributors to the bitter bitch attitude that women of color often display, life situations such as being a single mother (again this points the finger at the black man), being successful and unable to find a man who is as equally successful, and of course the lack of being able to find a good man. Again, do all these factors give one the right to have a fuck the world attitude?
What makes “our” problems any different from those of women of other races? There are plenty of single white mothers just like there are unattached Hispanic women, but it isn’t often that you see them taking their frustrations out on the world. Truth be told, the world doesn’t care that you feel that you have been dealt a bad hand, because in all actuality there is someone somewhere who has it worse than you. I’ll be the first to admit, that I am constantly perceived as being angry or bitter because I rarely smile. This misconception couldn’t be farther from being just that, a misconception, like any normal human being I have my good days and bad days. Just because I don’t walk around grinning like the Joker doesn’t mean I have a chip on my shoulder. Some women on the other hand, do have a chip on their shoulder and want the whole world to know.
It has been my experience that if you continue to have failed relationship after failed relationship then maybe it is time to turn the mirror on yourself. Blaming other people (people being black men) for what you lack has never solved anything, as women we are prideful by nature, so admitting that maybe, just maybe you aren’t as well-rounded as you may think, or that you just may still have some growing to do is considered to be a sign of weakness. (And GOD forbid a black woman be perceived as weak). At some point you have to accept that fact that everyone else is NOT to blame for your disappointments. Insecurities at times overrides better judgements and it’s easier to blame others than to accept the harsh reality that we are at fault.
Have you ever noticed that angry, bitter, jaded women always surround themselves with other angry, bitter, jaded women? That’s because misery loves company, and nobody who has a positive attitude wants to hang around a bunch of Negative Nancies. The depiction of black women is negative 50% of the time, take movies like “Waiting to Exhale”, classic example of the mad black woman, burning cars and slapping white women. Other races however are depicted to go through the same trials in movies yet never appear bitter, in the movie “Sex and the City“, Carrie never torched Big’s car and clothes.
In recent months I have been appalled at the amount of angrier and bitterness that older women (over the age of 40) display towards younger women. What is the point? I always believed that with age came wisdom, what is there to hate on if you have already lived that stage of life. If you continue harboring that bitterness you will find yourself alone with your thoughts, jaded friends and imaginary cats in your old age. (And there is nothing sadder to see than a pack of all sour women) The world doesn’t owe you anything, and the sooner the accept the sooner joy will come.
“The role of the angry, bitter black woman is one that has been played over and over by various women over time. It is a role that is played out and should be laid to rest never to be resurrected. It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. Time spent being angry and bitter is time wasted.”