"Addicted to the Game"

I knew something had to change, but there was something about him that had me drawn to him. Like a bee to honey, or a bull to a matador. I was addicted. I tried to make myself understand his way of loving me. I had always loved him with no pretenses, but his love wasn’t the same, his love hurt.
“Why does he keep doing this to me Hady?” There was no use in holding back the flood of tears that was sure to come, so I allowed them to flow freely. Hayden sat next to me on the floor saying little to nothing, listening to my spoken pain. This was not the first time she had come to rescue from a beating Xavier so graciously had given out.
“He does it because you let him! Baileigh this shit has got to stop! You can not let Xavier continue putting his fucking hands on you!” There was so much pain and anger in her voice that it only made me feel worse. Hayden and I stood a mere five foot two, weighing in at 120 pounds and that was soaking wet. But my sister had the heart and soul of a six foot; 200 pound linebacker. She never backed down from a fight and she usually won.
“I told you last time Baileigh Ray that the next time he pulled this shit I had something for his ass!” Her cool money green eyes were icy and cold. Her smooth caramel skin now wore a deep scarlet tent. “I bet his punk ass won’t hit me! Where the fuck is he anyway?”
I knew once Hayden got started she wasn’t going to stop until she was satisfied with the outcome of the situation.
“Hady, I don’t know what to do. I am so afraid to leave him. He has a hold on my soul.” I spoke softly looking around the room as if he was somewhere listening, waiting to pounce on me again. I felt my sister tighten the grip on my hand as I began to cry once again. Never the emotional one, Hayden herself began to cry.
“He is going to kill you. Do you hear me Baileigh? He is going to kill you if you don’t leave.” Her voice was soft yet serious. I could tell she was scared of my fate if I decided to live another day of sleeping with the enemy.
I was in a dangerous situation and there seemed to be no visible way out. It was like living at the base of a sleeping volcano, never sure exactly when it was going to awaken. Xavier was comparable to a ticking time bomb, sure to explode leaving a number of casualties to verify it’s wrath. I had been in the situation for far too long and it was no longer just me that I had to worry about, my son had bared witness to my beatings time and time again. Had it not been for him, I would have been dead along time ago. I stood up from the floor and stared long and hard into the mirror once again. The bruises still fresh and new had begun to settle in around my eyes which were now almost swollen shut. The blood from my lips had dried and needed to be washed clean. My sister stood behind me turning on the shower to a steaming hot temperature.
“Get in Bay-Ray. I’m going to get my nephew together and pack your clothes and we are going home.”
I looked deep into my sister’s eyes and straight through to her soul, I knew exactly what she meant when she said home. I peeled out of my clothes and stepped into the steam covered shower. I stood under the water allowing the warmth to calm my aching muscles. I held my face beneath the shower head and cried until there were no more tears left to cry, only anger and rage remained.

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