"ADDICTED TO THE GAME"

“IN THE BEGINNING”

I slowly opened my eyes, I was laying flat on my back staring up at the ceiling. My head was pounding and the side of my neck was burning, there was a warm wet sensation inside my mouth. I struggled to remember the events leading up to me waking up alone on the cold bathroom floor while attempting to get up, it wasn’t until I was staring at the battered reflection that I the events not 5 minutes prior flooded my memory. I stared at the black, blue and deep purple ring around my otherwise flawless green eyes. I ran my fingers over the 5-inch long wound that now defined my neck. I spit the warm blood from between my teeth and rinsed my mouth with cool water. I stared in the mirror and had no idea who the person was staring back at me. Was this my life? This was not supposed to be my life. The longer I stared the more the memories came flowing back, some good and some bad but they were my memories.
I was born and raised in St. Louis, one of only two children a twin nonetheless. My sister Hayden and I were kind of restless spirits, our mother said she knew at conception she was carrying something great. My sister and I were born on the coldest day of the year in early 1984. My mother used to say that was the reason I was such a cold hearted woman, which I took pride in being. I had goals and I wasn’t going to let anyone deter me from reaching them. At the age of 18, Hady and I moved to none other than Hollywood California, the only place we knew was big enough to hold our dreams. Hayden had the gift of gab, she knew any and everything about everybody and we used that to our advantage. Her ability to talk her way out of any situation kept us on our feet when we moved to the ragged one bedroom apartment on Hollywood Blvd. The day after graduation we were on an airplane headed to Cali with our dreams, two twin Louie bags and the six thousand dollars we’d saved over the years. The spotlight was always my thing, while Hady would rather be the brains behind the robot. Twins merely in physical, barely siblings by the mental. I used my face to get me where I wanted to go in life. Long legs, dark green eyes and a flawless near peanut butter complexion. I always believed I was created for this purpose and this purpose only, there was nothing I wanted more but for my looks to be the stepping-stone to my comfortable life. I made myself at home in the modeling and fashion industry while my sister thought of a way to make mad loot using her GOD given talent, the ability to know!
I’d done well maintaining my “I don’t give a fuck” attitude and was able handle my business without incident until I met him. One of the many men that would enter my untouched life and turn it upside down!
The banging on the door broke my trans, I knew who it was standing on the other side. I looked around for a quick exit as I’d done many times before, but we lived on the fifth floor of the high-rise loft building so I took a deep breath and waited. I closed my eyes and I prayed, prayed for a way out, prayed that someone was listening and could hear my silent cries and plea for help.

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